Intimacy - [comfortable exit] - final communication to reduce injury

There may be many reasons why a relationship ends .

Exit is essentially a self communication .

Want to know , Less regret , No despair .

Case study ： Through out , Boyfriend male chauvinism , To break up , Explanation of the other party , Guarantee , Back and forth several times , exhausted .

On what basis do you draw a conclusion that the Three Outlooks do not agree ？ What you think is more trustworthy , What is your own observation , Or the other side's explanation .

The reason why most people can't break up completely

Don't let stress communication dictate your decisions

Breaking up is the ember after the dust settles , Instead of the loud noise when the collapse began

Don't threaten each other by breaking up , The other person will become desensitized , Later I know that you used this matter to threaten , The other side will not compromise . If the other party really agrees , You will regret it .

The point of breaking up , Not in the back , in front ,

In the workplace , Please separate the salary increase from the resignation , Because today you threatened him with this statement , Tomorrow he will be threatened by others , So it must not be agreed .

1. Decision making and statement should be separated
2. Review the advantages, not the disadvantages   Once you begin to deliberately recall each other's shortcomings , It shows that you are rationalizing , Self deception , Only pick bad places to remember . Under normal circumstances, a person must be , It has advantages , Have shortcomings . That's why you find reasons why the other person is not nice to you , To rationalize the idea of breaking up . So the shortcomings you can find , Just because you have a different perspective now , You just want the brain to react to stress , Speed up your choices , It's not really how right this choice is . You've set up a position to break up , So everything you see is a weakness . But after you break up , Your mindset and vision will change , Often the shortcomings are changed to another scene , Maybe it's an advantage .

  Before exiting , Review each other's strengths for yourself , Instead of reviewing each other's shortcomings , Review the advantages , I don't think I need each other so much , It's real “ Want to know ”.

Case study ： Recently I have been quarrelling with my boyfriend , The reason is that he often fails to do what he promised me , For example, he promised to come to me on Monday , But he always finds reasons or excuses to postpone the meeting . I often think about breaking up with him many times at night , But I can't make up my mind every time , The next day it continued , The whole person is very tangled , I don't know what to do ？

Such a person , What attracted you in the first place ？ In addition to focusing on the shortcomings of the present , In fact, what irreplaceable advantages does he have ？

These advantages , Have you decided to put it down ？

3、 Find other demand outlets

The pain of breaking up doesn't come from that “ Break up ”, Pain comes from the real gap in demand .

Who to say good night to before going to bed ？ Sense of belonging

End the relationship. Am I a loser ？ Sense of belonging

Who are you going to have dinner with tonight ？ Sense of value

Decorations in the room , To fill the empty space .

Breakup trip , Lengthen the exit time

family , Friends get together to fully satisfy the sense of belonging

Work hard to fully meet the needs of the sense of value