Intimacy communication -- [repair relationship] - use communication to heal injuries

Case study ： I found my boyfriend chatting with his girlfriend , The content is ambiguous , apologize , Deleted wechat , We made up , But there are lingering fears . I feel that my feelings can't go back to the past , He seems to be able to feel , What should we do ？

Most people are good at hurting each other , But not good at healing each other .

stride across ： Jump out of the environment that hurts each other .

Case study ： Every time I quarrel with my boyfriend , It will be cold war for a long time , We are thin skinned , How can we be efficient and good .

There is no such thing as “ Make up ”, It's when people get back to normal , The last thing I experienced before , Defined as “ Make up ”

 

The above case , When asking what to do , Ask yourself what I hope to be reconciled , What is the state of ？

Then directly talk about that state , We will have a chat . What can be done .

Many people mistakenly believe that only by distinguishing between right and wrong in the past can they continue to trigger , And the past is too heavy , So it was too late to start again .

--- But why not start again ？

ask ： Whatever it is , Does the problem disappear ？ Directly across the past , Haven't they all been solved ？

Whether the problem is solved , Depends on the discussion , It depends more on mentality .

Before making up , We are chess players who argue about right and wrong , It's a stranger between the two armies .

After making up , We are partners in repairing the relationship , They face each other .

  location ： Understand why it hurts , It will alleviate the pain

When you have crossed the harmful environment , Are you serious about communicating with yourself , What does this injury mean .

Most people never seriously face their pain

No pain , sorry , These abstract words , How would you describe it ？

The facts ： Boyfriend has ambiguous language on wechat with other girls .

feel ： anger , sorry , sad , Betrayed .

describe ： What I want to do , Want to break up , I want to tell everyone to condemn him

Case study ： When she was pregnant, her husband often worked overtime , My time is very good , His attitude towards me is also bad , Lead to postpartum depression . Sometimes I feel bad , This problem will be mentioned again .

What does postpartum depression mean to you ？ Is it worth such a long conflict ？ Put aside your husband's thoughts , What do you want most now ？

replay ： Let injury become the nourishment of new relationships

Negative reasons , Find the supporting reasons behind . What are the ongoing risks ？ What should be done .

Real double offer , Is to think together , How do we build this relationship , Look at it from the perspective of development , Instead of throwing it at each other and blaming each other , Look at it .