I don't feel rested in the morning on a rest day

We went home for National Day, and we held a wedding banquet at home according to our local custom.In the countryside, that's what happened.Relatives and neighbors drink and eat, a little lively but not lively.The age is not too young, of course, according to the rural saying.The old people in the family often nag: people in the village as old as you, their children are in the first grade...

Because since I went to school, I have been living outside, and I am only on vacation when I go home, and occasionally go back to see the elderly.In my heart, I don't want to go home, but I will never admit that I am not filial, and I am still worried about the health of my mother, grandfather, and grandma.They are already so old, and I should give them an explanation. Getting married can be considered a comfort to them. Of course, the next task is to buy a house and have a baby.

After returning to Nanjing from home, I always felt like there was a lump in my heart, and I couldn't explain the specific reason.I really hope to get a pure white paintbrush, which will relax my heart, and carefully and meticulously paint all my heart into pure white and pure white, without any knots in my heart.The current life has not changed. I still go to work, get off work, get off work overtime, eat, sleep, and care about real estate information every day. I feel a little numb, which is scary....

Suddenly I feel that my life is too confusing, it seems that I have no purpose all of a sudden.Tonight, I had a night dream and woke up twice in the night. The dark night outside made me feel insecure.Haha, is it a bit too feminine?!Maybe it's because I haven't integrated into the city of Nanjing.Often after working overtime, on the bus coming back, looking at the neon lights outside the window, I think: Do I belong to this city??

The wife doesn't know the reason, it's not right to come together in the morning.Said that she was not satisfied with the marriage at my house, hehe, even I was blaming myself, how could she be satisfied?I remember she mentioned my knot before.I saw N photos a few days ago, all of them are photos of celebrities, and found that few can be compared to my wife, to tell the truth.Look at me again, I don't look too ugly (I always think so), after graduating from college, I am so-so, among my friends and classmates, I belong to the middle class.The key is that children from rural areas have no financial support and have to rely on themselves for everything.It just happened to catch up with such an unfortunate society....

Recently, the two projects in my hand are full, and the CODE is very different from the previous projects, which makes me feel busy, at least it is better than the messy one all day.Thinking a lot better.I keep reminding myself: don't think about the past, look to the future.But how much can it really be done?

It's a bit messy, so I won't write it.My wife is on duty, and I have to pay for utility bills, broadband bills, and buy some daily necessities.M.M.D, the prices of these things are going up every day, but the wages are still the same, and they will continue to depreciate, and people will not live.