How to be a self disciplined person?

Want to develop good self-discipline habits , We can start with simple things , For example, make a plan for yourself through normal efforts , Can achieve the goal , And it is best to have some help for your current or future work or life after completion . So when we try the benefits of success , Naturally, it will tend to the habit of self-discipline , Because self-discipline can bring benefits to us .

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01

The essence of self-discipline

How is self-discipline ？ In the growth process of each of us , What role does self-discipline play ？ Maybe most people have a consensus about self-discipline , That is to restrain yourself , In fact, to understand self-discipline in this way , Just the shallowest cognition of self-discipline . Restrain yourself from doing something , Or do something , It can really achieve short-term results , But it is against biological instinct to deliberately restrain yourself for a long time .

For most ordinary people , Deliberately restrain yourself for a long time , Sometimes it may backfire , After restraint , May be more indulgent , Deliberate self denial is the same as pressing the spring , The harder you press , The stronger the rebound . A higher level of self-discipline is not forcing yourself , But another way to sublimate yourself , Everyone should know that it is better to block than to be sparse , The primary method of flood fighting is blocking , And the advanced flood fighting method is dredging , Of course , So is self-discipline .

Understand that self-discipline is not a goal , Self discipline is just a state , A habit . Only we develop the habit of self-discipline , Will fundamentally improve the efficiency of learning and work . This state and habit can be formed through long-term cultivation .

The essence of self-discipline is not inaction , But to do something , Something is wrong. . It is a targeted goal setting plan and phased achievement reward , Then concentrate your time and energy on what you plan , Meet your goals on time , Get the corresponding reward . If you don't understand self-discipline enough , Then you can definitely understand the following case I want to talk about .

I believe most people have played online games or mobile games , Then you can recall when you played games , Is it very devoted and focused , When making an appointment with friends to play games at a fixed time every day , It reflects what you have never had “ Self discipline ”, Even said 10 Start playing at , It will never be delayed 10 Zero 1 branch , This is the ultimate self-discipline .

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02

The contradiction of self-discipline

So here comes the question , Why do we work and study , There is no way to maintain this self-discipline ？ In fact, this is determined by the reward mechanism of our brain , Speaking of essence , Human beings are just a kind of advanced animals , Since it's an animal , Then you can't get rid of animal instinct , And one of the instincts of animals is to get as much comfort as possible , And the source of this comfort may be material , It may also be spiritual .

Biologically , Dopamine produces expectation and dependence on rewards , dopamine ： Be commonly called “ Expect hormones ”, dopamine ≈  Longing for , It's a kind of “ Hunger and thirst ”, What it brings is desire 、 Expectations and fantasies , So the effect of dopamine comes from expecting rewards , Instead of getting a reward . Dopamine does not bring satisfaction , Just the brain “ Once again ” The reward mechanism is driving and enslaving you , It may bring more anxiety in the end , Not happiness .

When the instinct of animal attributes is dominant , We will find addiction 、 delay 、 Escape and other symptoms go hand in hand with us , This is not our fault as individuals , This is an animal attribute that we humans as a whole cannot get rid of , It's the original sin , Since it is original sin , Then there is no need to fear , Otherwise, it's like a monster scared by its own face , It looks funny .

What we really need to do is , How to let us use our inherent instincts , Do something meaningful to us , That's enough , What we can't do is disgust and rejection of black and white , Because light is always accompanied by darkness , There is no dark contrast , Light also loses the meaning of existence . Again , We long for self-discipline 、 self-confidence 、 brave , But procrastination 、 Low self-esteem 、 Cowardice is the existence we can never get rid of .

In that case , Existence must be meaningful , If we can't get rid of it, let's “ hug ”. Go back to the case of playing games mentioned above , Have you ever thought about , Can we play games like this “ Self-discipline ” Transplant it to work and study ？ I can tell you responsibly , Under certain premise , It can improve self-discipline , Want to completely transplant and play games “ Self-discipline ” To work and study , It's not impossible , Unless I deceive you , So be realistic , Let's see how to avoid forcing ourselves , Without deliberately restraining yourself , Let it be natural to improve your self-discipline in work and study , I believe this may be the result everyone wants .

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03

The impact of rewards on self-discipline

As mentioned earlier, our brain will respond according to the rewards of external feedback , If you do something for a long time , But there is no reward , Then the brain will gradually turn its attention to other rewarding events .

We play games , The reason why we can maintain long-term focus , And highly disciplined , It all stems from our expectation and desire for rewards in the game mechanism , That is, dopamine is at work , This expectation and desire will be expressed in different forms , For example, equip weapons 、 Appearance illusion 、 Game money 、 mount 、 Pets , Reputation points 、 Honor points 、 odds , Even a reward for logging in to your account every day 、 Online time reward 、 Rewards for reaching the grade, etc . All in all , When we achieve some set goals in the game , You can get the corresponding reward , And these rewards can enhance our game “ presence ”, For example, the attack power is stronger 、 The appearance of game characters is more beautiful , These are the real effects of reward items . This will further stimulate players to continue playing , So as to obtain greater rewards .

Compare our study and work , There will also be expectations for rewards , But the cycle of expecting rewards is too long , Unable to satisfy the brain's short-term satisfaction with the expected reward , Except for some people who really enjoy studying and working , Most people naturally can't stick to it for a long time . If in this case , And force yourself to persevere , That's anti human , But those who are anti human , Force yourself to insist on doing , There will be potential risks . It's like compulsory detoxification after being addicted to drugs , There are also potential risks , Of course, most people can get rid of drugs successfully , But after the failure comes out , Drug addiction is better than ever , This is the spring effect , How painful is detoxification , How crazy it is after failure . And it's basically difficult to quit after releasing drug addiction again .

So what we need to do is not force ourselves to insist or refuse to do something , But guide yourself to do something from the subconscious of the brain , Or not to do something . The specific operation process , You can refer to the process of playing the game , That is to use the reward mechanism in the game for reference to evaluate and reward our learning and work in stages . For example, every hour we study or work , Reward look 5 To 10 Minutes of mobile phone 、 Or get up and exercise , Every two hours of study or work , Reward yourself for a longer rest or snacks you like , The details can be determined according to personal preferences , What we do here is to let the brain form the habit of expecting rewards .

The purpose of doing this is not to really let us get that reward , Because the reward itself is what we reward ourselves , It's actually not very attractive for us , The reason for this is , It is to train our brain to form a phased conditioned reflex in learning and work , And this conditioned reflex is to expect periodic rewards , Once this habit is formed , So for our self-discipline in study and work , It will be of great help , And this habit is natural .

Of course, compared with games , Study 、 Work and other aspects are naturally incomparable , Since the birth of mankind , Play around 、 game 、 Competitive competition is the most common , It is also the most popular way of life and leisure , In modern times , Games are moved from reality to the Internet , But its essence has not changed , So the game itself has its own attraction , If the game doesn't have any reward mechanism , It will affect the experience of players , For example, the number of players decreases , But it's still hard to fundamentally lead to the decline of the game . So it is feasible for us to transplant the external reward mechanism in the game so that we can develop a certain degree of self-discipline , But if you want to achieve self-discipline from the bottom of your heart, you need a higher level of cognition to decide .

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04

The cultivation of self-discipline habits

Want to develop good self-discipline habits , We can start with simple things , For example, make a plan for yourself through normal efforts , Can achieve the goal , And it is best to have some help for your current or future work or life after completion . So when we try the benefits of success , Naturally, it will tend to the habit of self-discipline , Because self-discipline can bring benefits to us .

Generally speaking , When doing something , The longer self-discipline lasts , The greater the harvest . Here is an example of self-discipline that everyone has encountered , That is going to school , This refers to from primary school to high school , You can calculate , If you want to be as long as 12 Students who can maintain a certain degree of self-discipline during their school years , Then according to the common sense of normal distribution ,99.73% Of people's IQ is at a normal level , That is, the values are distributed in （μ-3σ,μ+3σ) The probability of 99.73%, Only 0.27% The IQ of people is higher or slightly lower . In the current environment where the gap in education level is gradually narrowing , It shows that as long as most people can maintain self-discipline , Get a good score , Even going to a good university is not a big problem .

We all know the reality , Most people can't get high marks , Can't go to a good university . Of course, this cannot be said to have nothing to do with the external environment , But the environment really prevents us from getting high grades , The biggest obstacle to entering a good university ？ I believe most people's answer may be no , Why , It's nothing more than its own internal problem , And the biggest problem of our own is that we can't keep the habit of self-discipline in learning , Or keep it for a period of time , But later, it was relaxed , There may be more such people .

So have we thought about it , Why can't we keep self-discipline for a long time ？ The real reason is that most people are under long-term self-discipline , If there is no short-term reward as blessing , Will lose momentum , Most people can persist in sprint , Even if you run slowly , But marathon is not good , Even in the late stage, walking is difficult to persist , That's the difference .

If your current state is lax , It is far from the habit of self-discipline , Then you might as well set a small goal first , For example, take a short course , Can help oneself master a skill , Or an evaluation certificate proving your learning ability , In this way, after you persist for a period of time to obtain learning results , Not only let oneself master new skills , It has played a positive role in work or study , Also cultivated their self-discipline habits .

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