Self awakening from a 30-year-old female programmer

30 A year old female programmer ,Java Development 、 graduation 3 More years , marry 4 More years , Not pregnant .

Just graduated 2 year , Full of ambition . All kinds of overtime travel , Although it's hard and tired , But also enjoy it . Struggle 2 year , Finally, I have a little confidence in my work , Unexpectedly, great changes have taken place in the leadership , Including colleagues , Suddenly walked more than half . See stay in the company , The future is hopeless. , But because of the working environment at that time + The relationship between colleagues is relatively comfortable , He decided to give up the so-called “ career ”, Try your best to get pregnant .

But the house leaks every night , spare 2 Months without fruit , My husband's physical examination found some problems , Need to take medicine , The pregnancy preparation had to be put on hold . At this time, the organizational structure has changed greatly , The only constant is , I'm still that soldier . Although I know my ability is not the strongest , Maybe with a little “ Graduate student ” Be proud of yourself , When leaders promote undergraduates who are much younger than themselves , Still unwilling . So I decided to go out and find my “ Bole ”.

On the back “ Married but not pregnant ” The title of , My interview didn't go well . Maybe God is going to lower the responsibility on me , It began to hurt my mind again , My muscles and bones . My husband's problem is not good yet , I had another minor operation , It's said that they got angry . therefore , My family began to persuade me ：“ What a good job now , Not much money , But there are few things close to home ！”, My husband also began to brainwash me ：“ Work is an external thing , Leave it to me to earn money , You are responsible for managing your mood and emotions ”, Even interviewing companies HR All advise me ：“ You'd better stay in your current company , How stable , Wait until you have a baby ”.

therefore , I continue to work in my post “ struggle ” the , But this kind of struggle has changed its taste 、 It's long gone 2 Years ago . Although I'm still me , But the sense of value and existence no longer exist .

How many times , Really want to leave here , I want to find a good leader who can see the shining points on me , Want to change a unit with a sense of belonging . But I don't belong to myself , I still have my family , I have more important tasks , I'm in my thirties .

Recently CSDN I read a lot on “ Programmed life ”, Compare yourself , Feel ashamed at once . So-called “ Hesitant and unfulfilled ” Just an excuse for cowards , Encountered bottlenecks in work 、 Encounter setbacks in life , It doesn't mean that my career has stagnated . You can have more time to study 、 To enrich yourself ！ You can write more technical blogs 、 You can even write paid articles , In such an era of smooth communication , You can completely free yourself ！ As long as you are really talented , There is no place to show ！

—— From an impetuous and suddenly want to leave an afternoon of self awakening ！ This article is dedicated to myself , There are also little friends who are as confused as me ！ Finally, I wish every programmer as kind as me can realize himself 、 Life is good ！