2 Love business in Little Red Book

source ： Photon planet （ID：TMTweb） author ： Wen Yehao edit ： Wu Xianzhi

From traditional matchmaker to Lily Jiayuan , Then go to the live broadcast rooms of various matchmakers , Matchmaking has never disappeared in this land . And with the Z Generations have gradually become leftover men 、 Leftover women , This ancient business is also constantly evolving .

To be fair , At present, people are afraid of marriage 、 The age of fear of breeding , It is an opportunity for the matchmaking industry , It's also a challenge . From the rebranding of Baihe Jiayuan to Fuai Heyuan , In the eyes of young people , The older generation of matchmaking platforms have long been obsolete ： One side , Detected 、Soul Wait for the new social software to replace , On the one hand, the user pool itself is less willing to marry and love .

Compared with the traditional dating and marriage platforms, they are waiting for the price , This generation of young people seem more willing to flee to social platforms , Talk to each other freely with strangers , Looking for playmates based on common interests and spiritual commonalities , And then to love .

It's just , Even if young people can set up other people on social platforms , Rebuild social relationships , But to fill the marriage “ Just need to ”, The new social platforms are fragile , Distortion is thus produced —— Following wechat 、 After the intermediary , The ancient matchmaking industry also began to make waves in the little red book .

This young man , From resistance to compromise

Behind the trend of little red book blind dates , It is the spiritual struggle of young people from resistance to compromise .

In the past , Young people have fled the circle of friends , Rely on the identity of a stranger , As a hobby 、 Level of appearance 、 Voice is the link , Crazy expansion in social software , Trying to screen out your soul mate .

Reality is often ruthless , With social software Soul For example , As user pools proliferate , At the beginning, it was like a tree hole “ Small and beautiful ” The experience of has long ceased to exist , Instead, there is a lack of social awe —— A crazy meal , Then ignore .

It's not just the social software that matches the previous key , What social platforms call “ A blind date post ” The same is true . Even if the little red book 、 Weibo places people high at the traffic outlet , It has received from tens of thousands of users “ Look at the ”, But when it comes to finding someone , A solitary struggle , It seems that there is no shortcut .

The context of microblogging public issues is not suitable for individual users to date here , A little red book that emphasizes individuals may be a good place to sell yourself . Little imagine , The social atmosphere of the latter has already collapsed , As a little red book user concluded ：“ Under the ' High quality ' There are basically two types of marriage seeking , One is pig killing dish , One is for fish .”

Usually ,“ Pig killing dish ” The swindlers will pay more money 、 Returnees 、 Labels such as fitness package themselves as “ High quality men ”, Then launch an emotional offensive for the purpose of marriage seeking , Finally, introduce the cheated into the so-called investment 、 Foreign trade scam . according to the understanding of , The pig killing plate on the little red book has been succeeding for many years , I have already said goodbye “ A false look ” The primary stage of , What's more, some people are willing to cheat “ prey ” Carry out online love for three months .

if , Present “ Pig killing dish ” Emphasize the long line , Catch big fish , The fish farmer “ The sea king ” What we pursue is to cast a wide net , Catch more fish , Sift out one or more objects from an expanded list of friends , Develop feelings at the same time .

Just like zigmund · Bauman “ Liquid modernity ” Described as , To untie the bound free individual , Modern society has liquified cultural norms and value systems , No longer have eternal relations and ties , There are only weak connections left in interpersonal relationships , Individuals always pull away and drown in the instant open or cut-off communication .

obviously , This unstable social context , It is not suitable for marriage , Moreover, the users of the platform are mixed , There are even fewer users purely for the purpose of marriage .

Because of this , Thirst for “ Soul mate ” Of young people are gradually punctured by reality , And then move the seeds of marriage and love out of the so-called “ Emotional private plot ”, Return to the blind date camp . And perhaps it was precisely this gust of wind , On the little red book with the flow pool , Various matchmakers were able to rise .

Cheap pills to relieve anxiety

Offer a cigarette and two bottles of wine from the earliest rural matchmaker , Then go to the matchmaker live studio to brush the gift money of the plane , The word "matchmaking" has never been disconnected from business , The Red Ladies pouring into the little red book are no exception .

Since it's business , Attracting customers is an inevitable step . In the past, rural matchmakers rubbed rice for gifts , Knowing that there is a disagreement, we have to make a forcible match ; At present, there are modern matchmaking agencies that deliberately release high-quality resources to attract users to say hello frequently , And once users pay for their members ,“ dream ” Then it will burst , The two are essentially the same .

Entrenched in the little red book “ wait every day under the tree , in the hope that a hare would kill itself by crashing into a tree trunk ” The matchmakers , The modern playing method is adopted , Or set out a batch of resources , Or attract users with various offline activities and successful matching cases . Because some matchmaking agencies will put advertisements on the little red book , Therefore, the drainage layer matchmaker IP There is no obvious difference between the notes sent and the content released by matchmaking agencies .

We can see from similar drainage methods , There is a certain hostility between the little red book matchmaker and the matchmaking agency . According to insiders , The matchmaker business in the little red book focuses on the amount of resources , It depends on the propagation matrix , Notes sent by accounts with different flags are likely to lead to the same matchmaker team , The team is small 5-10 people , More than ten people , Personal matchmaker IP Very few .

Although the matchmaker team has developed into a system of operations , But compared with formal matchmaking agencies , Whether it's volume 、 capital , Or are resources at a disadvantage , It seems that there is no living space . But actually , The matchmakers in the little red book , We have already found a way to share the cake between the cracks ——“ Leveling ”.

Usually , For users who come from drainage , Little red book matchmaker mostly converts users into private domains , Matchmaking agencies will spare no effort to introduce users into offline scenes , There is no difference between the two , Only “ Water depth ” And “ Shallow water ” The difference of .

The so-called regular matchmaking agencies belong to “ Water depth ” person , In fact, most of the above offline scenes are “ Half house arrest ” And PUA. before , There are media reports about zhenai 、 Baihe Jiayuan and other matchmaking companies pursue profits , By inducing recharge 、PUA Forcibly pull users , The matching play is even more brutal .

Small K Such a person “ The victim ”, A few months ago , She came across a local matchmaking agency on the little red book , Its notes claim to provide free emotional counseling , Small K They went to the offline stores with a try mentality .

After arriving at the store , There are dolls everywhere 、 The pink decorative style makes small K I can't help feeling warm , Self feeling “ This wave of losses ”. It wasn't long before I took my seat , A woman who called herself a relationship counselor appeared with a folder , Will be small K To a totally enclosed room , Then she was brainwashed for nearly two hours .

According to the small K memories , At first , The emotional counselor will make a thorough investigation of her in every detail , Will income 、 Age 、 Original family 、 Love history and other information have been stripped away ; After finding out , Emotional counselors began the so-called emotional teaching , While dreaming with various cases , While constantly denying her past , And always selling anxiety .

After a pass “ To make ” After my sermon , Charging has almost become a must , And once the transformation cannot be completed , Emotional counselors will exert pressure in various ways . It is reported that , Due to low passenger flow , Matchmaking companies often charge by steps , Package prices range from thousands to tens of thousands of Yuan , It is directly linked to the gender of the customer and the annual income , The quotation is generally higher , So as to leave room for bargaining .

“ Although it is said to be a little elated , Even doubted life for a time , But when you look at the cheapest four month package, you have to 2 Thousands of multivariate , I woke up in an instant , Say think again . At this time, the emotional counselor changes his face , First of all, I can't compete with young girls at my age , He said that my circle can't contact high-quality men at all , I'm not allowed to go , Finally, a male manager was called directly , I have an attitude that I don't want to go out easily without paying money .” Small K Recollection .

Final , She had to take out her mobile phone and call the police , In the tense atmosphere, I escaped from this “ Pink and tender ” The land .

Small K My experience is not unique , On little red book , Just search “ Jiayuan ” The influx of black matchmakers roast will be difficult to count , Almost every roast matchmaking agency notes , There are tears of regret .

in the final analysis , The matchmaking industry is a business of selling and solving “ anxious ” Business , And as you huddle together to keep warm “ sisters ” Mine spontaneously in little red book , The reputation of offline matchmaking agencies is declining in the community , In Xiao Hong's book “ Leveling ” We naturally get more traffic from sweet potatoes , It has become a cheap pill to relieve anxiety , Played a similar role “ Placebo ” The role of .

There are pits in every direction , You might as well jump to the shallow

According to the photon planet observation , The matchmakers in the little red book can be roughly divided into three categories , One is relying on resources , Service charge （ Exhibition fee ）, Distribute users' basic information and blind date demands to xiaohongshu and friends circle “ Communication matchmaking ”.

One is specialized in local business , Relying on the so-called intra city high-quality off order group to collect the threshold fee for group entry “ Community matchmaking ”; The other is to hold customer resources in their hands , Charge matching fees to users , Match by Hongniang party according to the filled information “ Matchmaking ”. The boundaries between these three categories are not clear , A matchmaker IP There are often multiple ways to play at the same time . Besides , Some disguise themselves as matchmakers , In fact, the matchmaking agency under the diversion line .

As “ Leveling ”, Online matchmakers obviously have the advantage of price . according to the understanding of ,“ Communication matchmaking ” The service charge usually ranges from several hundred yuan , Few matchmakers will reach the price of 1000 yuan ;“ Matchmaking ” Pricing is related to the so-called package , Different packages contain different matching times , The price ranges from hundreds to thousands .

And the so-called city “ Community matchmaking ”, It is usually a gathering place for single men and women , You usually need to pay a threshold fee ranging from tens to hundreds of yuan to join the group , Some groups are free for women , Only a few groups have no threshold for joining . Besides , Offline activities are often held regularly in the Group , Group members sign up for , The registration fee depends on the content of the event .

obviously , Compared with the matchmaking agencies that often cost tens of thousands of yuan , Online matchmakers are more friendly in terms of pricing . But instead of categorizing them as “ A good bargain ” Category , Rather, it is a relatively shallow pit —— Jump in though it won't hurt your muscles and bones , But it will inevitably scratch the skin .

all the time , Older unmarried young people are younger A They all deeply doubt the high-quality men promoted by little red book , After all, such conditions should be very popular in reality , It will not be reduced to looking for a matchmaker . But next year, it seems, it will be over 30 Year old “ Shelf life ”, In addition, his favorite male emphasizes that he is due to his small circle “ Single by ability ”, Small A Finally, I took off my guard , Hongniang wechat was added by leaving a message .

After adding matchmaker wechat , Small A It is found that his circle of friends is full of various dating resources and marriage cases , Looking at the happy expression of the bride and groom in the wedding photos , His heart secretly rejoiced , Determined to pay 399 Yuan service charge , Matchmaker also sends her friends' information to her circle of friends and friends .

After that , Small A Staring at his mobile phone expectantly and nervously , Afraid to make others wait too long , But until the early morning , She still didn't wait for any feedback . Final , Sleepiness triumphed over unwillingness , Small A Decided to wait tomorrow , But three days in a row , Still no one added small A, This once made her fall into self doubt about whether the conditions for making friends were harsh .

It is worth noting that , Before information release , The matchmaker is called to avoid privacy leakage and platform current limitation , No contact information is allowed in the dating information , Interested parties can only contact matchmaker first , To get specific contact information . But now there are not only no inquirers , Even the previously extremely enthusiastic matchmaker , I didn't take the initiative to contact Xiao after the information was released A.

In order not to suffer losses , Small A Later, he repeatedly asked for dividends “ High quality resources ”, But the matchmaker either “ Catch up ”（ Too active ）、 Discouraging for reasons such as falling prices , Or directly refuse to say that it is not the type that the other party likes . Helpless little A Finally give up the struggle , Quan Dang is in the water .

Compared to small A What happened “ Communication matchmaking ”,“ Matchmaking ” And “ Community matchmaking ” Similarly, there are many minefields . According to the past, people are small G According to , She also brushed matchmaker's personal information recommendation on the little red book , Boys except for photo coding , All aspects of the conditions are good , In particular, the boy's love for pets coincides with her , A little... Intrigued G So I chatted about the matchmaker in private , Ask for more information .

After adding wechat , The matchmaker first asked Xiao G Provide information for certification , Again, for the purpose of member confidentiality , Can't share the complete picture of the boy , Only after you become a member can you participate in pairing .

Same as small A Encountered “ Passive communication ” Different , The matchmaker claims to be able to match people , The number of times depends on the ladder membership fee ：900 The meta package includes two active matches and two 5 Choose one ,1600 The matching number of yuan package is twice that of the former , Besides , Women will also be put into the passive matching pool , The time is half a year .

After thinking over and over again , Small G Or I chose to “ Love ” pay .

However , When she anxiously told Hong Niang that she wanted to take the initiative to match the boy she saw at the beginning , The matchmaker told him that the boy had been paired successfully , Leave it to little G The guest pool is also difficult to satisfy . Final , Small G The little red book's journey to find love ended unharmed after hastily matching several people .

Until the end , Small G I still haven't seen the shape behind the mosaic in the original photo , I don't even know that there is a real person behind the description that makes her heart beat , Or is it a human device made up by Hong Niang for drainage . After all, in the matchmaking industry , Whether it's “ dummy ” Or a bridal trust , It is normal , There is no way to identify the relationship chain sold .

Compared with the aforementioned purchase and sale based on user resources , Community matchmaking model “ pit ” Much less , But that doesn't mean that everything is OK . According to a group member , In fact, communities only provide social places , Everything depends on the individual , He is not friendly to people who are single because of social phobia .

And according to his observation , There are only a few people who are really active in the community , Most people except add a group when a bright phase , No longer speak , The so-called matchmaking group seems to have become a small group of fun . Besides , Because the threshold is generally low , Such matchmaking groups are lax in screening personal information , Inevitably, it flows into those with impure thoughts , There was even a rumor in the circle that married men were having fun .

Slavoge · Zizek once denied with fetishism （fetishistic disavowal） Describe a “ That's true. … But still …” The state of mind , It's like knowing that going to bed early is good for your health , But habitually stay up late . Just like small G said ：“ I know this money will probably be wasted , But I would still like to believe it again , Because I know other people are doing the same thing , We are all compromising .”

And in the end , Small A Chose to return to the circle of friends , Embrace the traditional dating model ; Unbelieving little G Then choose to try matchmaking again , Just this time , She gave no hope in return , You have the right to comfort yourself .