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The most lost road I have ever walked through is the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

2022-07-06 16:48:00 ByteDance Technology

Programmers always have a very rational side ,

Or say —— special 「 Axis 」 One side ,

It often makes people feel 「 This is too serious 」 Well !

therefore , What are the specific manifestations ?

Programmers with ByteDance , We caught him this time .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 1 The tent

ByteDance the elevator of an office building in a work area came out again bug 了 .

Algorithm Engineer Donghao has been waiting 20 minute , More and more people are blocking the elevator , Send out in succession 「 It's ridiculous 」 My sobs .

Donghao came back from meditation , Patted the shoulder of the next classmate :

「 You say? , In our complex office building scene , How to write the scheduling algorithm ?」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

Give the programmer an elevator , You will get a set of scheduling algorithms .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 2 The tent

A lottery was launched inside ByteDance .

Most people who are not lucky are always a little frustrated :

「 alas , And avoided all the awards perfectly .」

Technical students :

「 no way , Lucky draw , Always disclose the source code , In order to let everyone know whether it is a fair draw .」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

The source code should be put in the lottery , It's like putting references in writing papers .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 3 The tent

ByteDance programmer Xuebin took his good friend to watch hacker movies 《Who Am I》.

On the screen , The protagonist of the movie is frantically tapping the keyboard to write code .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

Xuebin's eyes lit up , Immediately press the pause button .

My friend looked confused :

「 Yo ?」

Xuebin carefully studied the code of the movie protagonist :

「 Oh , This is bash, A script .」

One sentence comment :

Whenever and wherever possible review New code .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 4 The tent

Xuebin has been unable to understand one of his colleagues and roommates .

such as , In my roommate's dirty clothes basket , Draw a horizontal line , He threw the dirty socks he had changed into it every day , Until one day it reaches the horizontal line , Then take it to wash .

And then one day , Xuebin can't watch anymore :

「 Why don't you wash every night , Wash your socks conveniently ?」

Roommate :

「 Efficiency is too low . Only save the socks and wash them in batches , In order to share the time on each pair of socks 、 Labor costs are minimized .」

Xuebin :

「 It seems very reasonable ?」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

Washing socks should also consider economies of scale .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 5 The tent

Already off duty QA Classmate Yifan just updated some software on his mobile phone .

He read the update in detail , Subconsciously found the corresponding function , Discover this new feature UI There are some problems .

To restore to the original → Start recording → Reappear bug→ Save the video .

A set of operating procedures .

At this time, Yifan realized :

「 EH , This is not a ByteDance product ? I 、 What is my hand doing ?」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

First there is screen recording, then debug.

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 6 The tent

ByteDance product manager Yue Yue is sorting out and printing some pictures for testing .

She opens backstage , Take screenshots of the pictures you need 、 preservation , Ready to print .

Lots of pictures , It takes a long time , Yue Yue is very boring .

Ah Hui, the back-end classmate sitting next to him, couldn't watch anymore :

「 Such a simple and repeated thing , You won't make a script ?」

Ah Hui called out backstage , I wrote a script .

5 Minutes later , All the required pictures appear in order in a folder on Yue Yue's desktop .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

Looking at Yue Yue's surprised expression , Ah Hui sighed :

「 or , Go and learn Python?」

One sentence comment :

「 Lazy man 」 To change the world .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 7 The tent

ByteDance programmer Wenbo , He is waiting in the hot pot restaurant with his college classmates .

The waiter warmly introduced to them the activities of folding thousands of paper cranes for cash during the waiting period , therefore , A group of people began to fold paper cranes .

Wenbo thought for a while , A call was made to the students :

「 Let's first consider how to design the depth of the assembly line , Make a balance between the quality of the thousand paper crane and the stacking speed .」

After the plan is worked out , Wenbo and his classmates have mass produced hundreds of thousand paper cranes .

See so many thousand paper cranes , The waiter looked embarrassed :

「 I'm sorry , This activity in our store , The maximum number of thousand paper cranes is 60 individual .」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

Every little routine has best practices .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 8 The tent

Mr. Hao, the programmer of ByteDance, and his wife cooked a large table of dishes at home .

After dinner, , Mrs. Hao put down her cell phone , Took a look at my husband :

「 Can you wash the dishes ?」

Mr. Hao stared at the dishes and chopsticks on the table :

「 Um. …… wait a moment , I'm thinking about how to carry plates and bowls of different sizes with my hands , In order to minimize the number of handling .」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

It's not that I don't work , I'm just thinking about the logic of working .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 9 The tent

I saw someone in the group chat send a panda expression bag of curator Jin , ByteDance interactive engineer sighed Lingling :

「 Magic is magic , But there are still some souls missing .」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

But Lingling, who has no art skills, can't draw expression packs :

「 alas , Painting is not as simple as making faces .」

wait , pendulum ghost face ?

It's simple .

Take advantage of a ByteDance inside hackathon, Lingling pulls a group of friends , Built a system .

First, mark the facial key points of the expression pack character , Add an expression recognition module , Then reconstruct the face 3D Model .

Finally, turn on the camera and aim at yourself , Start making faces .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

This is not an expression bag , This is a Demo

see , How spiritual it is .

Students who eat melons are shocked to see :

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

One sentence comment :

As long as you have enough skills , I can get enough ghosts .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

The first 10 The tent

Over the weekend , Front end programmer Sunrui puts on his coat and is ready to go out .

My friend has booked the number of a popular restaurant on the Internet , Wait for him to pull the grass .

「 Will it rain ?」

Sun Rui unlocked the computer next to him , Open the browser , Searched the weather .

「 very good , Although it will be overcast in the afternoon , But it doesn't rain today . Why , The dynamic effect of this sunny sun symbol into a cloudy cloud symbol is so smooth , How to achieve ?」

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

He subconsciously F12 For a moment , Study the code behind this effect , Ignore the message that pops up on the mobile phone .

Finally find out how to do it !

He picked up his cell phone and key again and walked to the door , Take a look at the cell phone ,3 Missed calls + 10 Unread messages . The latest news is :

「 Forget it , I won't wait for you , It will take two hours to reschedule after the date , I went home to order takeout .」

One sentence comment :

The most curious , It's someone else's technology .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

most end The tent

The humble editor of this editorial department , I'm going to give the manuscript of the interview with technical classmate Neo a few days ago to him for confirmation .

「 I hope the first draft has passed .」

Xiaobian summoned up courage , Press enter .

「 Give me permission to edit , Let me adjust the format .」

Format ???

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

After permission is opened , Xiaobian found English professional words mixed in all Chinese paragraphs in the document , Neo added a space before and after .

 I walked the most lost road , It's the brain circuit of ByteDance programmers

↑ Just like this.

「 Hey , Would you like to share the document specifications of our team with you ?」

One sentence comment :

OCD makes me happy .

——

Actually , say 「 Axis 」 Good ,「 take seriously 」 Good ,

They are the lovely side of programmers with ByteDance ,

They at work , With the spirit of pursuing the ultimate , Shoulder tens of millions of businesses , Ensure the experience of hundreds of millions of users .

They are real , Don't like to pretend ;

They face the problem directly , Have the purest pursuit of Technology ;

They also uphold this pursuit , Constantly stimulate creativity on the road of Technology .

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